OK, I get it. Nothing is going to happen here. You mentioned your spouse again. We’re just talking. That’s fine. I enjoy talking to people. And attractive women are much better at conversation. Lots of interesting conversations. And OK, you’ve got a boyfriend. I’m not going to ask you for your phone number. Nothing is happening. We’re just having a delightful conversation about your shoulder injury when you fell down the stairs.

You’re headed off to a date. Great. I’m enjoying this conversation. You’re came into town to see a friend perform in a play and now you have to catch the train back to home, which is not here. But yeah, the beer at this bar is pretty great. Baltimore has a lot of amazing breweries.

I play rugby. Just thought I should throw that into this conversation about how you’re just passing through as you’re interviewing for jobs all through the country. Speaking of which your immigration story of coming here from Sri Lanka is nice, and you are really cute if not a bit young, as are many of the women that I end up having conversations with at this bar, which seems to attract attractive young women from out of town and/or have husbands, wives, or girl/boy friends. I’m cool with all that, because we’re having an awesome conversation about something. I don’t quite remember what, but I do remember you are waiting for someone, a significant other sort of someone, I believe.

I know that we are just having a wonderful conversation, and you asking you for your a phone number would be a bad move, so I won’t do that. Why would I do that, we’re just having a fine conversation, and besides I’m sure would wonder what sort of shit I’d send you if I did have your number. But why would I need your number, we’re just two people talking, and I’m a bit on the older side. Why would you want a dick pic from some old guy.

Unless that is exactly why you are at this bar, even though you have someone or are about to date someone or are just passing through.

OK, again, I get it. You mentioned your husband again. But if you did want a dick pic, I can send one if I had your number, which I haven’t asked for, because we’re just having a conversation. Just talking. About your boyfriend. If I did send you one, it would be dripping with pre-cum, probably because I was fantasizing about you or someone else who has a lover that I’ve had so many intriguing conversations with at this bar.

Of course, you wouldn’t want that , because you again mentioned that other person, as we’re talking about the winters in Michigan vs those in the DC metropolitan area. You grew up in Michigan, and I lived in Michigan for a while!

It’s not just the amazing sex, and the fact that I’d get to use a bunch of stuff from my bdsm kit that I’ve not yet had a chance to use. It’s also connecting with someone in an emotionally intimate way that involves anal sex.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. You’ve got a train to catch. Or a date to meet. Or you just need to get the hell out of this bar and back to your soulmate, who you’ve mentioned a few times during our cool conversation about the sad extinction of the koala bear.

Anyhow, it was good to meet you, and I enjoyed our conversation around the public transit systems in various cities around the world. My name is K— and have a good night.